The journey begins

The past several days have been a whirlwind. I arrived in DC on the night of 10/27. Training started the next day. We met downstairs at noon and started filling out pages of paperwork. There was a frantic feeling in the air and even though I had only formally met a few of the volunteers already, I could tell we were all feeling the same- excited, overwhelmed, and a bit uncertain. As paperwork finished, the icebreakers began. We went around the room and stood up and each introduced ourselves. 25 of us in all. Our Staging Director, Emily, eloquently stated that for the first time since our Peace Corps journey began we were in a room full of people- none of whom we had to explain or justify our decision to join Peace Corps Jordan. Orientation was long and useful, but a blur by now.

Our flight was supposed to be on Monday, but got delayed because of Hurricane Sandy. We spent most of the day in the hotel, with the exception of a windy and wet jaunt down to Safeway to get enough food to prepare ourselves if power did go. 

Fortunately, Sandy didn’t hit DC hard but did allow for another day of rest, repacking, and J16 bonding. We played charades and listened to Connor and Laura play the guitar. Tom whistled.

 Tuesday we were told that they were able to book us a flight to Jordan. We had an hour to get our things together and board the bus. We left DC at 7:00pm on Tuesday October 30^th, had layovers in Vienna and Frankfurt where we occupied the time playing Moon Pennies and Around the World, and finally ended up in Amman on Thursday at 3:45am. 

With Moon Pennies you can buy a goose, but not a mouse

Sultan, our training manager and Bryan, our country director, greeted us at baggage claim and helped us load our belongings and selves onto the bus. We slept for a few hours at our hotel and then started day 1 of training at noon.

Our Country Director, Bryan, welcomed us. He shared with us facts about PC Jordan: Peace Corps Volunteers began their work in Jordan in 1997 and since then more than 500 volunteers have worked in Jordanian communities. We are the 16^th group to arrive – J16. Once the J14s leave in January, I will be one of about 60 Americans serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer in the Middle East.

The rest of the day we met a lot of PC Jordan staff, went over the Emergency Action Plan, medical information, got our cell phones, a little bit of money (dinars) and more information than I can recall. We all had to get flu shots and a few other immunizations. Directly after getting mine I came upstairs to “rest” before dinner. I slept the most intense rest I may have ever slept in my life. My roommate later told me she had tried to wake me up for dinner but it was a no-go. I woke up around midnight and was wide-awake most of the night. I drifted in and out of sleep but was soon awoken by morning prayer- loud, beautiful songs that are sung twice in the morning (for several minutes each time) before the sun comes up. Since then I have been laying in my hotel room, watched some Arabic pop music videos, watched the sunrise, and am now eagerly awaiting for it be 8 o’clock so I can go get breakfast.

Amman sunrise from my hotel room

In one week I'll be where again?

  Since finding out that Jordan would be my new home for a couple of years, I have been defending that country as if I was born and raised there. The face- that concerned, sorta excited, but confused cringe I get when I tell people I'm moving to Jordan- I hate that face. I feel like it's my duty to be on the defense- list 10 reasons why Jordan is safe or spit out statistics of crime rates in the US, to put things in comparison.

After months of reassuring myself and others that Jordan is indeed a safe and wonderful country, I read this in the paper: Jordan foils al-Quaida plot. When I first read it, I freaked out and for the first time started second guessing my decision to move. I spent about 2 hours googling terrorism (bad idea). Panic and anxiety ensued. I'm leaving in a week and holy sh*t, this is real. A couple hours of reflecting on this tossing and turning in bed sleeplessly, I suddenly realized that this story is a positive thing. Apparently,  authorities have been monitoring this group since June, so Jordan is as safe (if not a degree safer) than it was back then. I should feel reassured that the Jordanian government and security forces are well trained and keep close watch on suspicious groups. Okay. Deep breath. Now, more reflection.

Directly after a disaster we become preoccupied with it- obsessed with it sometimes. We are reminded that life is finite and that is terrifying to us. Following the devastating earthquake and tsunami in Japan last year, I remember researching the Cascadia Fault line that runs from Southern Canada to Northern California and learning that a giant earthquake is likely to occur in Seattle within the next 200 years. Following the shooting in Aurora I researched US serial killers. There have been a lot of them. 

It's hard not to let the fear of the what-ifs paralyze us.

Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold. - Helen Keller

I know that I am going to a part of the world that we hear about in the news constantly. It is a very tumultuous time and US relations with the Middle East are tense. Extremists and terrorism are a threat. I am not ignoring this or pretending that it is not a threat. Instead, I put it in perspective that even though it exists, it will be by no means a daily reality. Current Peace Corps Volunteers serving in Jordan remind me that day to day I will be working on lesson plans, having tea dates, getting to know the neighbors, doing chores, studying Arabic, playing with the local kids, and being over-fed by my well intended new community. Just as I am too distracted by friends and family and work and every day blessings to worry about the what-ifs while living in Seattle, I remain confident the same will be true in Jordan. 

That funny in-between stage

I got my flight itinerary the other day. I leave in less than a month! Excited nervous overwhelmed emotional. I fly into DC, have two nights at a hotel with the other volunteers, and then we fly out together and get into Amman at 3pm on Tuesday October 30.

Deepak Chopra writes "All great changes are preceded by chaos". I like change- I thrive off of change even. Staying in one place doing the same thing for too long makes me antsy. Even though the act of change itself is hard, it's this in between stage that's killer. Things have most certainly been chaotic, to say the least.

I was walking through the arboretum and couldn't help but compare the changing leaves and clear cut signs that Fall has arrived to this weird in-between stage that I'm in. Nature has a way of changing so eloquently and effortlessly- something that we as humans aren't so easily capable of. Trees actually have chemicals that they secrete during fall that forces the leaves to fall off. We don't produce these same chemicals, so letting go is harder. But just like trees, we need to let go to prepare for future growth.  Whether it be physical things (like 24 years of accumulated what-not in the closet at my mom's house) or emotional baggage, I gotta let a lot of it go to prepare for this new step.

I have a lot of wonderful people in my life here who have been beyond supportive of my decision to move. I'm so grateful for them but it makes leaving that much harder. But, as they say, change is the only constant so I better just keep rollin with it.

What I'm listening to these days

 

Learning the Arabic Alphabet is more difficult than I thought. But this song sure is catchy.

What I know so far

I started reflecting on how by choosing one path, I am essentially abandoning another.  Perhaps abandoning is a strong word, but I'm certainly taking a leave of absence, so to speak, from Seattle life. Ya can't be in two places at once. Life is good here. I fall in love with Seattle and the people here all over again just about each and every day. It hit me today that immediately following my departure quite the series of events will take place: election day, Thanksgiving, Mom's birthday, Dad's birthday, Christmas, New Years, and inauguration day- to name a few.  It's comforting that I'll have 26 fellow PCVs with me who will be able to relate, but I anticipate a bit of intense culture shock with some accompanying homesickness. Fortunately, I will without a doubt have a lot on my plate to distract me. 

This is some of what I know so far: 

• I will spend 11 weeks of pre-service training in Madaba, Jordan, a touristy city southwest of Amman. Madaba is a fairly "modern" city, has a large Christian population, and many tourists. 
• Training will be intense, focusing on language, cross-cultural communication and adaptation, development issues, current events, health and safety, and the technical skills pertinent to teaching English and working in primary schools. 
• I will live with a host family throughout training.
• I will be assigned to my permanent site towards the end of training (January 2013) where I will likely live in my own apartment.

• Jordan is currently the only Peace Corps program in the Middle East
• Current PCVs that were stationed close to the Syrian border have since been relocated. The Peace Corps makes safety and security a huge priority- particularly right now. They relocated volunteers preemptively. (I've listed some links about the Syrian conflict at the end)
• There have been some protests in Jordan after the Innocence of Muhammad video went viral, but have been mostly non-violent  Timeline: Protests over anti-Islam video (Aljazeera)
• In general, Jordanians are friendly and hospitable to Westerners. Many urban Jordanians were educated in the West and speak excellent English. Some will likely voice criticism of American policy in the Middle East (sure to be a topic of interest following the results of November 12th...), but individual Americans are generally well-liked and treated respectfully.

That being said, the single most common piece of advice I get from returned Peace Corps Volunteers?  Expect the unexpected. 
 
Links: 
Syria Uprising Timeline - NY times
30,000 Syrian refugees in Jordan

Obama vs Romney on Middle East  
 

“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.” ― Pema Chödrön

Seattle is so comfortable, changing yes, but ultimately so incredibly comfortable. At times remarkably so. Other times a bit stifling. The other night at a party I reunited with friends I hadn't seen in some time and updated them that I was soon moving to Jordan. Most were excited, some quite shocked that I would even consider moving to the Middle East during this time of "Muslim Rage" (more on that later...). Regardless, the more I repeat it out loud, the more real it becomes. 

An excerpt from the PC Jordan Welcome Book:

The most successful Volunteers maintain a healthy balance between idealism (“I have something to contribute, I can make a difference, and I have the luxury of time and opportunity to do so.”) and pragmatism (“I want to develop new skills, advance my professional development, challenge my own thinking, and explore where and how I fit in the world”). If you are too idealistic, disappointment will come hard and fast when you cannot single-handedly transform the world, your village, or those you work with. However, if you are overly focused on personal achievement, you may lack sufficient motivation or commitment to overcome barriers, resistance, or inertia, and may miss the joys and rewards of living simply. 

I am doing my best to approach this experience with this mindset. I have a lot to give but certainly a whole lot to learn. 

Second

The Peace Corps' mission has three main goals:

1. Helping the people of interested countries in meeting their need for trained men and women.
2. Helping promote a better understanding of Americans on the part of the peoples served.
3. Helping promote a better understanding of other peoples on the part of Americans    

I am beyond excited for this new adventure. However, the complexity of the Middle East is overwhelming me. I studied International Studies in college. I have an average understanding of the Middle East. Unfortunately, an average understanding means there is still quite a bit I do not know or understand, and probably quite a bit more I don't even know I don't know.  Part of the reason I am keeping this blog is to fulfill goal #3 - promoting a better understanding of other people and cultures. I'm not going to pretend like I know more than I do. I accepted my invitation to work as a primary school teacher in Jordan for a lot of reasons... I have wanted to teach since I was a kid, I've had an increasing fascination with living abroad since college, I believe that peace can't be created solely by the government and people in power, I think I have things to offer. But a huge reason is that I have so much to learn.

So here I go, exploring the unfamiliar- and sharing things as I learn. Any and all comments and opinions are always welcome!

I have been reading so much about Syria lately and want to document my understanding of what is going on now. In August alone, more than 100,000 Syrians fled the country- the highest number since the conflict began in March 2011. "August was arguably Syria's most violent month yet, with the pro-opposition Syrian Observatory for Human Rights reporting more than 5,000 deaths." Up to 183,000 Syrians have entered Jordan and are currently arriving at a rate of about 1,000 a day. (BBC). Jordan doesn't have the means to support the giant influx of people and life in refugee camps is rough- little water, food, and constant uncertainty. There is no real sign of political progress or a military solution that could let them return home anytime soon.

As I prepare to leave family, friends, my home and life I have created in Seattle I sometimes find myself getting really anxious. 27 months is a long time to be away from all that is familiar. But there is such comfort in knowing that when I do come back, the majority of my family and friends will still be here, my neighborhood and beloved park across the street will remain relatively the same. I can not fathom having to get up and go overnight- not knowing when or even if you will be able to return home or if there will even be a home to return to. Saying goodbye to friends and family that you may never see again. Living in tents with intense dust storms and little protection from the sun. War can seem very abstract when it is across the world. It's very very real. READ THIS.  My heart is with the hundreds of thousands of people there and throughout the world whose lives have been so drastically altered by the effects of corruption and war.